Alright, I know it feels like I just wrote my last HotW but whatever. I’m bored and I recently remembered something that upset me alot.

Alright so back when I was still in school I used to eat at the student union quite frequently. My meals varied- sometimes it was a sandwich, sometimes a plate of Chinese food, sometimes something else. Anyways, during one particular day I was sitting at a table alone, eating some delicious Chinese noodles while reading my paper (one of my favorite things to do, ah, the simple things in life).

The Chinese food that they served was on a plastic plate, something kindve like this (but a little more squareish shaped):

Anyways, I’m minding my business, eating my noodles with a plastic FORK…you know, the ones that look like this:

It makes the most sense. Forks are the best to pick up the noodles from the plate, as you can’t use a bowl to scoop the contents up. Most azns use it in this manner:

(Where you just jam everything into your mouth like a machine and you don’t fucking stop until the food is gone).

Weirdly enough, the restaurant offers chopsticks to its customers, despite serving the food on the foam plates. Naively enough, the (white) masses come forth, grabbing and eating their oriental food in a ‘traditional’ sense, with chopsticks!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

That was about my reaction when I looked up from my paper and saw a multitude of people eating their general tsos chicken/orange chicken with the chopsticks. I had a hearty chuckle while watching a hipster-looking fag struggle with the chopsticks, dropping his piece of orange chicken to the ground like a buffoon. I continued to swipe the noodles into my mouth with blazing efficiency, succeeding not with my traditional chopsticks but a FORK. I smiled and continue to observe…

One peculiar looking chick was using her chopsticks fairly well. She slid her general tsos fairly well and I was impressed. Then she got to the puzzling conundrum of how to eat her rice. You see, you can’t just jam it into your mouth like you could when eating in a bowl. I laughed when I watched her eat in tiny bits, little rice piece after little rice piece. After about 7 minutes she finally had enough and got a fork.

Goddamn white people wtf…even the azns I watched were eating the fucking chinese food with a fork. We know what’s up… YOU ARE NOT COOL OR UNIQUE BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS. DO THE PRACTICAL THING AND USE A FUCKING FORK! WHEN YOU SEE AZNS EATING CHINESE FOOD WITH A FORK, YOU KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG WHEN YOU’RE USING CHOPSTICKS.

cliffs: don’t use chopsticks when you’re eating off a fucking plate, ESPECIALLY when rice is involved. it just leads to hilarious results.

Alright so going off on more retarded subcultures…I really fucking hate wiggers. Urban dictionary’s definition of such:

A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through “Bling” fashion and generally accepted “thug life” guiding principles.

Living in upper middle class Omaha, Nebraska, I can tell you for a fact that the area I live in is not ghetto…it is a nice area with many houses defined (at the very minimum) as ‘middle class’.

With that said, there are dozens of little freaks that think that West Omaha is some twisted form of South Central…and the very idea makes me sick. Kids who have never had a starving day in their life, who drive their daddy’s escalade, who live in their $400,000 houses (which in Omaha is very very good), and probably still have a fucking allowance walk around town acting like a fucking gangster.

I don’t really know where this shit stems from. There are definitely some ghetto areas in Omaha, something that alot of people might not know – http://omaha.com/article/20100221/NEWS01/702219915. But every day I pass by kids who are wearing large studded earrings and super baggy clothes. But above all, my hatred for the STRAIGHT BILLED FUCKING HATS pisses me off the most.

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE DO THIS? UNLESS YOU’RE A FUCKING BASEBALL PLAYER I DON’T FUCKING GET IT.

Back in my day, kids used to bend their fucking hats…hell, leaving them straight was ‘uncool’. Then I guess gangsters (aka blacks) started to leave them straight (with the sticker still on I might add) and VIOLA! We have the hardcore suburban white faggot who thinks he’s hard shit.

You are not from L.A.

You are not from Chicago.

You are not from New York.

YOU ARE FROM FUCKING OMAHA NEBRASKA RIP THAT FUCKING TAG OFF YOU FREAK

Goddamn. Alright, I guess I can sometimes see liking some other sports teams (when you’re not necessarily from there). And hell, I guess we’re all young and fucking retarded sometimes. I recall having an old UNC hat i bought freshman year when I was still obsessed with M.J. (even though by that time he was reaching the end)…I guess there can be some excuse. But why the hell do you fag kids like to

-leave the fucking sticker on?
-tilt the hat sideways?
-WEAR IT WHILE YOU’RE FUCKING WORKING OUT?? Makes no fucking sense to me…you should be focusing on your fucking weightlifting or whatever the fuck you wiggers do in the gym, not worrying about your fucking fashion. (This is actually a case for another similar rant, gym fashion, but maybe another time).

You know…kids these days, they make me sick. So many fucking wiggers all over the place, what the hell. If I had a genie in a bottle I wouldn’t ask for 10 million bucks in my account…I’d ask him to throw every single one of these douchey wigger freaks into the various areas of Downtown Chicago/Harlem/South Central/Dade County/etc and see how long they last. If you want to act like a fucking gangster then let them try.

Goddammit, little queer 120 pound ‘tough guys’ make me sick. I hate the retarded ebonics, the wannabe tough guy mentality, the ideas that these guys can “shoot you up” or “drive bys are frequent”…these ideas are so goddamn retarded. It’s not even really a phase for these retards either, it’s just a full out retard mentality. I’d probably beat my kid senseless if he ever became a true ‘chigga’. Disgusting.

You know, I’d like to try and hold back some of these words. It might be wise (in my best interest) to not type out this hate. But whatever, it’s my fucking blog and I’ll write what I please.

I hate hippy freaks. Liberal pussies who don’t do anything but bitch, whine and cry about how we “NEED CHANGE” (but are too useless to do anything about it).

My hatred for these people probably stems from my living in Nebraska but Christ, hipsters are gay. Our country is going to shit. These people probably want us all to abolish any law enforcement and hold hands, singing kumbaya or some shit like that.

I don’t really know jackshit about politics- I just like to hate. And I hate the subculture of hipster liberal pussies…the same type that wear tight jeans while sipping some Starbucks; talking politics and browsing on their mac book pros.

You are not sophisticated- you are a fucking douche. You don’t need fucking glasses to look smart either. And what the fuck is with that damn coat? If it’s hot enough to have short sleeves on then it’s sure as hell not necessary to have a retarded looking jacket like that.

I really hate how smart some of those freaks think they are…almost like they’re talking down to you. Yeah, I might not know a whole lot, but I know that you’re a fucking pussy hipster and I’d like to (try to) kick your ass. What do have to say about that?

Why the hell do these people think they are cool? Goddamn, nothing pisses me off more than this shitty subculture. NOBODY LIKES YOUR FUCKING INDY MUSIC! YOU ARE NOT FUCKING UNIQUE YOU ARE A TOOL. most of these freaks probably got made a bitch throughout their youth and are now ‘rebelling’.

Tree hugging – baby killing-whale fucking,-macbook using,-coffee sipping- war protesting-tight jeans wearing- FREAKS can go die in a grease fire.

Come to think about it, my sister has a macbook. disgusting….

So I’m a pretty bitter person. People who know me personally can attest to this. There are alot of things I hate…this probably isn’t the best place to publicly voice my opinion (I should probably be more politically correct but fuck that, this is my blog and I’ll rant on what I damn well please).

I feel like I’ve been a bit sappy on this blog and not really true to form. So here, I’ll start now…hopefully I can make one of these a week to show you what a bitter angry man I am.These will all be uncensored and highly offensive, so if you’re a weak pussy then don’t read on from here. I’m guessing this column will be fairly offensive, insulting other sexual preferences, races, etc, so don’t read this if you’re easily offended.

HATE OF THE FUCKING WEEK- TV PERSONALITIES
I will discuss all people on television I hate. I don’t watch alot of programs these days but meh…

1- RANDY RETARD JACKSON-

So I watched American Idol the other day (I take that back, I was sitting on the couch with my mom and sister and they were watching it, I was browsing the internet) when retard Randy comes on. For those of you who don’t know, Randy Jackson is a judge on American Idol. There are many, many things I hate about Randy…I think what pisses me off is him saying shit like “man…I jus’ wasn’ feelin’ it dawg…just not you!” Oh shut the fuck up Randy, this white pathetic singer is no more your “dawg” than Dr. Dre is.
Here is a clip of idiotic gangster talk from Randy-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrnEkwyeq4Q

His criticisms make me sick. I don’t know shit about the music business (or the evaluation thereof) but WTF is this moron trying to say? Here is another retard clip from him - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPY9U3me0Rs&feature=related

Not that I even really watch American Idol…but lord have mercy, Randy Retard Jackson is a dichotomous freak, edging on both the gangster/ebonic talk and expert, eloquent professional. PICK A DAMN SIDE RANDY YOU SUCK ASS AT BOTH.

2- TODD MCGAY

What the hell is this guy even saying? Obviously NFL draft pick analysts have a pretty tough job and it’s a pretty inexact science….but McGay takes it to a new level. For those who don’t know, he’s a guy who analyzes the NFL draft, along with Mel Kiper Jr., etc. With that said, this guy just pisses me off to no end (And no, it’s not because he hates my bff Tim Tebow either). And I guess he’s paid to create refreshing new drafts, against the grain…but jesus, his last mock was just ????

#1 Rams take G. McCoy, 4 tackles in the first 8 picks (this class doesn’t even have many must-take OT either)…???

Whatever, if he’s right, I guess I’ll have to eat crow. McShay can go suck a dick though, I’m tired of listening to him and Mel Kiper cry to each other.

3- Nancy Grace

I shouldn’t even really have to say anything about this lady. She’s a self righteous bitch who thinks she’s the defender of justice once her fiancee or someone got murdered. This lady spouts on and on, lord have mercy…sometimes I wish she’d just shut her trap and go eat a dick or something instead.  I see my hatred is shared as well, seen here- http://nancygracemustdie.com/

She’s just idiotic and irrational, like most women are. She’ll see an offender or something and go off on him because she was personally affected by a similar crime in some way shape or form (or they somehow conflict with her moral values). Another hilarious post here- http://johnhgohdecommentator.wordpress.com/2009/02/17/nancy-grace-is-not-squeaky-clean/

God I hate you Nancy Grace.

I was going to write one on gay fashion designer “experts” but I’d probably be stepping over the line so whatever. I’m still hesitant to post some of the true bitterness here that I have, so you’ll have to make do with this. Speaking of fashion “experts”, how the hell do you become an “expert” at critiquing fashion? Seems idiotic to me. Who the hell cares if Halle Berry is wearing one strap or two? What’s the fuckin difference? Who cares if so and so wears a necklace with her dress? wtf? Some of those freaks piss me off so bad when they spaz out over “bad” fashion…then again, I’m a guy who wears jersey shorts and a beater 24/7 so what the hell do I know ? (yes, I’m a redneck).